Consequences & Empathy

What makes the difference in giving consequences with equal amounts of empathy?

The difference is in the delivery:  

• Voice tone
• Body Language
• Choice of words

For years, I have reacted when giving consequences.  My entire delivery said, Oh yeah?  You think you're in charge?  Well, here's a consequence you'll never forget!

When a child receives a consequence by a parent who is truly empathetic with their situation, they can sense that their parent doesn't want what's horrible for the child; they can sense that their parent really feels sad with their choice but will remain firm yet kind when enforcing the consequence.

Example 1:  A son says to his mom, "I don't like being in time out!!!"  The mom empathizes, "I'm sad for you, buddy! I don't like for you to be in time out either because I miss having you around!"
Can you imagine this little guy contemplating these words, listening to his mom's tone of voice, and watching her body language?

Vs.

Example 2:  A son says to his mom, "I don't like being in time out!!!"  The mom reacts with, "I wouldn't want to be in time out either.  If you had chosen to obey the first time instead of doing everything I said not to do, then...."

Can you just see that little guy tuning his mom out?  I know I would.