Deciding What Works For Your Family

I love books.  Over the years, I can't begin to tell you all the books that I've bought (and never opened) on parenting, all the books I've started but never finished reading on parenting, and all the books I have actually completely read on parenting.  Exhausting!

One of the hardest lessons that I learned was that just because the book said it, didn't mean that it was necessarily beneficial for my family or my parenting style.  Before my firstborn arrived, I read a book that said that when babies should sleep a certain number of hours, wake up with a certain mood and should do these certain activities to ensure that they don't become whiny children.  It sounded good at face value, but after my firstborn arrived, implementing some of the concepts were difficult because the book didn't take into account two things:  my child's personality and my parenting style.

One day when my 3-month-old would not go down for a 2-hour nap (just like the book said she was supposed to do!), I just let her cry and cry and cry for an HOUR!  My husband came home and said, "That's a bit excessive, don't you think?"  I said, "But the book says....."  After that, I realized that the book is a resource, not the law!


I suffered so much guilt after that incident.  But I learned a lesson that has helped me along the way.  I am not tied to one particular book or method.  I glean from various resources what works for our family.  And I am the one who has to implement these consequences and set up these rules.  Am I really going to follow through on this because I believe this will benefit my family or because I think this author thinks this is what is best?

As far as Love and Logic® is concerned, I am pleased with the general philosophy - natural consequences, enforced with empathy.  This gives me a lot of freedom within my role as a parent.