Does God Care?

I have often struggled in my approach to parenting, in terms of what the Lord wants from me in how I parent my children.  What is discipline supposed to look like?  How does God want me to respond to my children when they are defiant and have no problem disobeying my words?

When I first started parenting, I wanted everything laid out in a nice, neat little checklist.  Almost the same way I treated my quiet time with the Lord.  "Okay, Lord.  I spent my five minutes with you this morning. So my day should be easier now."  In that same mindset, I would think, "Okay. I followed this Biblical parenting book and so my children should look and act like this now."  Can you hear the red buzzer waking me up to reality?

One of the things that has been on my heart is that God wants me to parent the same way He parents me.  We know that our children learn by what we model for them.  In the same way, God has laid out his heart for us, His children, in the Word.

1. He tells how much He loves me. (Jeremiah 31:3)
2. He has given free choice to follow Him or follow myself (something we frequently tell our own children). (Joshua 24:15)
3. He understands my weaknesses and forgives me. (Psalm 103:12-13)
4. He delights in us. (Zephaniah 3:17)
5. He prays for us. (Hebrews 7:25)
6. He comforts us when we're sad, even when it's a result of our own sin. (Psalm 34:18)
7. He corrects me when I've disobeyed. (Proverbs 3:11-12)
8. He desires the best for us. (Jeremiah 29:11)
9. He will never let me be separated from His love. (Romans 8:38-39)
10. He made me because He loves me. (Psalm 139)

Look at all the parallels between how God parents us and how we should be parenting our own children. Remember the parable of the man who owed the great debt and was forgiven of the debt, but then turned around and jailed someone who owed him even less?  Isn't this how we sometimes treat our children?  We confess our sins to the Lord, but when our children ask for our forgiveness, we forgive but with an attitude or a lecture.  

While I believe God does care about how we parent, I don't know that He advocates one parenting book or style over another.  He cares about our hearts - what do our actions reveal about what we truly believe deep down inside?  In the same way, we care more about the hearts of our children, what motivates them deep down.  Are we just pushing rule after rule so that they will act in a way that won't embarrass us or are we truly concerned with the state of their hearts?